Letter about solitary confinement by Scottie D. Allen
I'm writing this letter in hopes that I can shed some light on how long term solitary confinement has affected me.
Before comming to death row I had already been an inmate in the florida department of corrections for almost fifteen years. Out of that time most of it was spent in solitary confinement. It seemed that the more time I spent in solitary the more I acted out and was put there. Florida has three types of solitary confinement. Regular confinement, Close Management (C.M.), and death row.
Most of my time has been on C.M. and believe me when I say that time on C.M. changed me. it made me have a constant feeling of hopelessness, and helplessness, constant feeling of dread, and absolute disdain for even waking up in the mornings. on many occasions I've yearned for just the slightest form of compassion, consideration, or even acknowledgment as a human being and was denied even those small treasures of humanity.
I cannot count how many nights I've laid in my bunk and just rocked and cried myself into merciful sleep just wanting to be touched by another person. acknowledged as a person. cared for like a human. I'm at the point now where I'm very standoffish and distrustful of those I do come in contact with. I'm in a constant state of withdrawl, I used to be outgoing and happy. depression has become my new normal and being reclusive guarantees those things I used to yearn for cannot be stripped from me or used as a weapon against me ever again!
Thank you for your time.
Scottie D. Allen #B01314
P.O. box 1000
Raiford, Florida 32083